Confucianism, Korean Culture, and the Bow
Although it’s largely a Christian country today, the culture of Korea revolves around the Confucian doctrine of hierarchy, knowing your place amongst others in society, addressing them according to their position to you, and so on. If you’re not familiar with Confucianism, you can read up on it a little on the religious tolerance website.
Now, I’m not here to get into a discussion on religion. This blog is about shedding some light on my life in Korea, and this religion has major impacts on the country that are visible in everyday life. It’s really one of the things that fascinates me most about my new home….how such a modern and developed country can be based around these archaic (for lack of a better word) structures, yet still manage to find a harmonious balance between the two.
Now, I knew that you always address your elders with respect in Korea. The grammar and vocabulary of the language is really centered around this concept, which makes learning it all that much more difficult! But even if someone is just a few months older than you, you are expected to greet them in the appropriate regard. For example, I always greet store owners and adults I encounter on a daily basis with “Anyonghaseyo” (hello). Although if a child says hello to me, I reply with the shorter and less respectful greeting of “Anyong”. This is also the way good friends can greet each other, but only when their relationship has reached a high level of comfort with one another.
I once made the mistake of saying “Anyonghaseyo” to a little girl in the convenience store, and everyone around me had a good laugh (myself included when I realized why they were giggling)….because it’s unheard of to address a junior that way. No biggie though, I can always play the foreigner card and get off the hook with these cultural misunderstandings. It’s important to know a person’s age if you’re talking to them, so a common first question upon meeting someone is “How old are you?” This may seem rude and off-puting to us Westerners, but here it is almost a necessity for continuing the conversation in the appropriate manner.
In the workplace it’s the same way. It’s customary to buy small gifts for your co-workers when you start working for the company…or maybe when you go away on vacation and come back. I’ve done this upon returning from Japan and China. Unfortunately though, I was unaware that you should buy a bigger and little bit more expensive gift for the boss. They should receive something “more special” than the rest of the employees and must be shown the most respect. Clueless here again, I returned from Japan all proud of myself for picking up some small Osaka Cake Rolls to give my collegues. Maybe I even joked to myself about how “Korean” I’m becoming now….haha. Well, I handed one to my boss….straight out of the same box that everyone else had been choosing from, *gasp*!!
My boss is really sweet, and of course she didn’t say anything. I hope it didn’t hurt her feelings too much….she’s used to working around foreigners anyway so it’s not such a big deal I guess. But I made sure to remember this little cultural quirk the next time I went on vacation, and happily gave her a slightly BETTER gift the next time! I used both hands to give it to her….this is another custom, using two hands when giving or receiving things to/from another person. I got that one down pretty early on though. Again, greater care is taken when giving a gift to a person of authority whom you should respect. Be sure to bow a little more than normal, arms at your side, etc. Weddings and the most sacred occasions will demand a full bow in which you bend down and your head touches the floor.
Funnily enough, my position as a teacher is seen with a surprising degree of respect by the parents. Every time I’ve been introduced to them or met them, I was a little taken back by how far they bowed to me (a slight bow, like a head nod almost, indicates a smaller degree of honor…..the bigger the bow the greater the respect, etc). Then again my occupation in Korean is said with the honorary add-on word “nim”, which indicates a more respectable career. Teacher is included with doctor, lawyer, and others of the like…haha.
We had a new staff guy that started working at my school about a month ago. I could tell he was kind of nervous (but excited) to meet me, the foreigner. He kept bowing a lot to me during his first week there….even when I passed him in the hall or walked by the main desk where he works, he would awkwardly stop what he was doing and nod deeply. It was cute and funny at first, but then annoying because I had to bow back every time, haha. I told him the next week, “It’s ok. You don’t have to do that when you see me.” I let out a laugh, gave him a good ole’ American pat on the shoulder, and nipped that in the bud straight away!
Hmm, there are probably some more interesting things related to this that I’m forgetting here…but it’s a little late. Hope you enjoyed…..I heart Korea!
