Quirks of the City (Part Deux): Jeong
Choosing to stay in Seoul longer than a year and choosing to engage in the history and culture allows you see much more than you would otherwise. Looking back, part one of this series “Quirks of the City” looks so silly (albeit still true).
Just today I had dinner at Kraze Burger (a Westernish chain burger joint) with my best friend here and co-worker, Ashley. We had a coupon for a discount on our meal. Just before Ashley handed it over she realized that it had already expired. I said, “Don’t worry, give it to them anyway, they’ll probably give us the discount regardless.” Sure enough, the manager proudly said something to the effect of, “I’m sorry, but your coupon has expired. Normally we would reject this, but because you are two of our favorite customers, we will renew it.”
And let me just say Ashley and I don’t “frequent” that place at all…they were gracious because we are foreigners. The same thing has happened to me many times. When I first arrived in the city and a business man crossing the street stopped dead in his tracks when I asked for help, called his English-speaking friend for me, and let me use his cell phone. Visiting an ecological park near my home that was reservation only, the guard kindly bowed and let me pass, explaining “Because you’re a foreigner, it’s ok if you don’t have a reservation.” Even a couple months ago when it was drizzling outside and I was waiting at the bus stop outside my apartment (without umbrella), a little middle school boy saw me and ran up to me…standing on his tip-toes he held his tiny little umbrelly over my head until my bus came.
It boggles my mind that people can say Koreans aren’t kind. They must not get out much or make 
the slightest effort. This kindness is engraved in Koreans, it’s called “정” (jeong). This is such a hard word to translate–jeong. One of my Korean friends put it to me like this; let’s say you love apples. You haven’t eaten apples in a long time and you just got home from buying a fresh couple of apples at the market. Your neighbor then randomly knocks on your door to “borrow a cup of sugar”. You offer the sugar, but you offer the apples too even though you love them. That is jeong.
It manifests itself in many ways here in Korea, at the dinner table is one example. The elder almost always pays for dinner and/or drinks. This is to be expected and seriously not to be contested (it’s rude to insist on paying when an elder is offering because you’re practically saying that they’re too poor to afford to pay). The interesting thing is, the elders gladly pay the bill….because when they were young they had elders that helped feed them and paid for their meals every now and then. To honor them, it is their turn to pay. Likewise, the younger people at the table kindly accept the free meal, knowing that one day they too, will “pay it forward” when they are older.
August 18th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
it’s always funny to me how quick people are to judge each other. there are so many horrible things said about korea, especially when people lump the south in with the north, and they are said in complete ignorance. sad really. the koreans that i have met in my life (especially the ones who immigrated here) have been the nicest people, the best neighbors, the fairest buisnesspeople, and some of the most genuinely caring individuals i have ever met.
i think there’s alot to be said for a society where the older generations take care of the younger in that respect…we could learn something from their “pay it forward” way of thinking.
i can’t wait to come visit you there! i love learning about new cultures *grin* and i love korean food! *yum yum* the spiciness gives me horrendous heartburn, but it’s so good i hurt myself. lmao although no amount of bribing is going to make me eat live squid….just so you know XD
love you! ♥
August 30th, 2009 at 1:54 am
You are so lucky you are white.
)
I have been refused entry and jobs just because, according to one of the schools I applied, “Sorry, you are brown, not white. ”
)
September 4th, 2009 at 7:52 pm
Hey!
I stumbled across your blog looking for information about the sheep farm in Gangwon-do. Then, I notice you took a friend to the craft supplies market in Dongdaemun. I love that place more than you can ever imagine. Anyway, it got me to wondering if you knew that Seoul has a Stitch n Bitch group. Do you do any crafting yourself? If so, we’d love to have you join us. I don’t want to get caught in your spam filter so I’ll let you email me if you want more info.
I really like the way your co-worker explained jeong. It a concept that is difficult to express and not completely understanding Korean culture, one that is hard to understand. And I think that’s exactly part of what makes Koreans come off as not kind – cultural differences. Koreans, in my experience, are very kind; they are not polite as I understand politeness. I rarely have a door held open for me, for example. But, a man will leave his sock-selling stand to walk two blocks to show me the way to whatever landmark it is that I asked for directions to.
Also, I’m totally jealous about Moscow. This summer was China for me and my partner
September 7th, 2009 at 1:05 am
haha exactly the same has happened to me. a few raindrops were falling down when suddenly a girl ran up to me just to share her umbrella with me. i don’t think i would EVER experience such a thing at home (germany). though I wouldn’t go as far as saying germans are unfriendly
but korea is just… different, i guess?!
although i met tons of friendly people during my stay in seoul/busan who went out of their way to help me, i have to add that i had some probs with ahjummas/ahjussis. i couldn’t quite tell if they were just plain rude, ignorant oder maybe just afraid of little blonde haired girls? i think i gave them the creeps, judging on their looks when i approached them but maybe thats just my impression.