The Ramblings of Loren Christopher

Choosing to stay in Seoul longer than a year and choosing to engage in the history and culture allows you see much more than you would otherwise.  Looking back, part one of this series “Quirks of the City” looks so silly (albeit still true).


Just today I had dinner at Kraze Burger (a Westernish chain burger joint) with my best friend here and co-worker, Ashley.  We had a coupon for a discount on our meal.  Just before Ashley handed it over she realized that it had already expired.  I said, “Don’t worry, give it to them anyway, they’ll probably give us the discount regardless.”  Sure enough, the manager proudly said something to the effect of, “I’m sorry, but your coupon has expired.  Normally we would reject this, but because you are two of our favorite customers, we will renew it.”


And let me just say Ashley and I don’t “frequent” that place at all…they were gracious because we are foreigners.  The same thing has happened to me many times.  When I first arrived in the city and a business man crossing the street stopped dead in his tracks when I asked for help, called his English-speaking friend for me, and let me use his cell phone.  Visiting an ecological park near my home that was reservation only, the guard kindly bowed and let me pass, explaining “Because you’re a foreigner, it’s ok if you don’t have a reservation.”  Even a couple months ago when it was drizzling outside and I was waiting at the bus stop outside my apartment (without umbrella), a little middle school boy saw me and ran up to me…standing on his tip-toes he held his tiny little umbrelly over my head until my bus came.


It boggles my mind that people can say Koreans aren’t kind.  They must not get out much or make the slightest effort.  This kindness is engraved in Koreans, it’s called “정” (jeong).  This is such a hard word to translate–jeong.  One of my Korean friends put it to me like this;  let’s say you love apples.  You haven’t eaten apples in a long time and you just got home from buying a fresh couple of apples at the market.  Your neighbor then randomly knocks on your door to “borrow a cup of sugar”.  You offer the sugar, but you offer the apples too even though you love them.  That is jeong.


It manifests itself in many ways here in Korea, at the dinner table is one example.  The elder almost always pays for dinner and/or drinks.  This is to be expected and seriously not to be contested (it’s rude to insist on paying when an elder is offering because you’re practically saying that they’re too poor to afford to pay).  The interesting thing is, the elders gladly pay the bill….because when they were young they had elders that helped feed them and paid for their meals every now and then.  To honor them, it is their turn to pay.  Likewise, the younger people at the table kindly accept the free meal, knowing that one day they too, will “pay it forward” when they are older.

Although it’s largely a Christian country today, the culture of Korea revolves around the Confucian doctrine of hierarchy, knowing your place amongst others in society, addressing them according to their position to you, and so on.  If you’re not familiar with Confucianism, you can read up on it a little on the religious tolerance website.

Now, I’m not here to get into a discussion on religion.  This blog is about shedding some light on my life in Korea, and this religion has major impacts on the country that are visible in everyday life.  It’s really one of the things that fascinates me most about my new home….how such a modern and developed country can be based around these archaic (for lack of a better word) structures, yet still manage to find a harmonious balance between the two.

Now, I knew that you always address your elders with respect in Korea.  The grammar and vocabulary of the language is really centered around this concept, which makes learning it all that much more difficult!  But even if someone is just a few months older than you, you are expected to greet them in the appropriate regard.  For example, I always greet store owners and adults I encounter on a daily basis with “Anyonghaseyo” (hello).  Although if a child says hello to me, I reply with the shorter and less respectful greeting of “Anyong”.  This is also the way good friends can greet each other, but only when their relationship has reached a high level of comfort with one another.

I once made the mistake of saying “Anyonghaseyo” to a little girl in the convenience store, and everyone around me had a good laugh (myself included when I realized why they were giggling)….because it’s unheard of to address a junior that way.  No biggie though, I can always play the foreigner card and get off the hook with these cultural misunderstandings.  It’s important to know a person’s age if you’re talking to them, so a common first question upon meeting someone is “How old are you?”  This may seem rude and off-puting to us Westerners, but here it is almost a necessity for continuing the conversation in the appropriate manner.

In the workplace it’s the same way.  It’s customary to buy small gifts for your co-workers when you start working for the company…or maybe when you go away on vacation and come back.  I’ve done this upon returning from Japan and China.  Unfortunately though, I was unaware that you should buy a bigger and little bit more expensive gift for the boss.  They should receive something “more special” than the rest of the employees and must be shown the most respect.  Clueless here again, I returned from Japan all proud of myself for picking up some small Osaka Cake Rolls to give my collegues.  Maybe I even joked to myself about how “Korean” I’m becoming now….haha.  Well, I handed one to my boss….straight out of the same box that everyone else had been choosing from, *gasp*!!

My boss is really sweet, and of course she didn’t say anything.  I hope it didn’t hurt her feelings too much….she’s used to working around foreigners anyway so it’s not such a big deal I guess.  But I made sure to remember this little cultural quirk the next time I went on vacation, and happily gave her a slightly BETTER gift the next time!  I used both hands to give it to her….this is another custom, using two hands when giving or receiving things to/from another person.  I got that one down pretty early on though.  Again, greater care is taken when giving a gift to a person of authority whom you should respect.  Be sure to bow a little more than normal, arms at your side, etc.  Weddings and the most sacred occasions will demand a full bow in which you bend down and your head touches the floor.

Funnily enough, my position as a teacher is seen with a surprising degree of respect by the parents.  Every time I’ve been introduced to them or met them, I was a little taken back by how far they bowed to me (a slight bow, like a head nod almost, indicates a smaller degree of honor…..the bigger the bow the greater the respect, etc).  Then again my occupation in Korean is said with the honorary add-on word “nim”, which indicates a more respectable career.  Teacher is included with doctor, lawyer, and others of the like…haha.

We had a new staff guy that started working at my school about a month ago.  I could tell he was kind of nervous (but excited) to meet me, the foreigner.  He kept bowing a lot to me during his first week there….even when I passed him in the hall or walked by the main desk where he works, he would awkwardly stop what he was doing and nod deeply.  It was cute and funny at first, but then annoying because I had to bow back every time, haha.  I told him the next week, “It’s ok.  You don’t have to do that when you see me.”  I let out a laugh, gave him a good ole’ American pat on the shoulder, and nipped that in the bud straight away!

Hmm, there are probably some more interesting things related to this that I’m forgetting here…but it’s a little late.  Hope you enjoyed…..I heart Korea!

I’m glad you all liked my Vlog! I got a pretty good response from it, so I’ll keep those coming! For now though, here are just a few things I’ve come to find interesting about living in Seoul.

The apartments have heated floors. I find this to be a much better way of heating a room. Not only do your feet never get cold, but as we all know, heat rises. How genius!

Most restaurants have a button on the table that you press when you need service. I find that this is both beneficial to the wait staff, as well as the customers. No more awkward interruptions by your server, no more servers waiting around and nonchalantly passing your table. Just push a button and presto…a group (not just one) of smiling Koreans are at your service!

Ajummas. Literally translated meaning “woman old enough to be married”. See picture below:

Sure, she may look like a sweet lady who just wants to offer you a bowl of kimchi….but if you’re in her way when she’s trying to get on or off the public transportation system then you had better watch out! These women often sport huge visors and/or fur coats. When they reach a certain age they cut their hair short, get a perm, and begin savagely stomping through subway stations, pushing anyone in there way to the side.

The stares. These aren’t as bad as I had previously thought they would be…but I assure you that I don’t walk around this city unnoticed. My height doesn’t help my anonymity very much either, haha. The Korean friends I’ve made so far say that these stares aren’t a bad thing….people are just curious about Westerners so a lot of them can’t help but look. The good thing is that if you look back, they will immediately glance away because they want to avoid any confrontation or awkwardness. This is VERY unlike Czechs, who if they recognized you as a foreigner, were perfectly content to stare at you the entire subway ride as you sat across from them….never breaking face.

Animal hats for kids. As if Korean kids were not cute enough on their own, their parents often dress them up in these animal hats for the winter:

There are many other quirks of this place that I’ve come to find interesting and endearing….so I’ll make these entries part of a continuing series. I always find it most fascinating to learn about these little social facts that really separate cultures….and there are many here, I can assure you.

Hope all is well, and much love!